A Pirate's Life for Pine Tree!
by NappingStabbingBlooking
Summary: The year is 1734! After a series of unfortunate events, Dipper Pines is uprooted from his peaceful home in Massachusetts and sent to sail with his devious Great Uncle Stan, who claims to be a 'sea merchant'. Soon Dipper has to face a torrent of adventures aboard the Mystery Ship with his Grunkle and sister as they explore the ocean blue!
1. Anything's Better than Nothing

EXTENDED SUMMARY: Life for Dipper and Mabel Pines has never been easy. Their parents both died in a horrible accident when they were young, forcing them to grow up begging and stealing until they had enough to make it on their own. And when tragedy strikes a second time, the twins are sent to their great uncle Stanford to find refuge. Turns out their uncle isn't the man they thought he was, and the twins are pulled into a series of dangerous adventures aboard the Mystery Ship!

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Hello everyone! My name is Rainb0wshine and this is my latest Gravity Falls fanfiction, **A Pirate's Life for Pine Tree!** Totally creative title, I know. This story is a Pirate/Adventure!AU (duh) and is going to be taking place in the 1700s. I'm sure there will be some historical inaccuracy but god damn it this is a story so whatever.

Lastly, please review this if you like it! I'd love to hear any/all ideas you might have and incorporate them into my story. Suggestions, criticisms, absolute hate, you name it! I love hearing from the readers.

Enjoy Chapter One~

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Dipper woke with a startled jump as their carriage gave a particularly hard jerk, followed by the whinny of a horse. Dipper pulled his hand through his matted brown hair, willing his heart to stop beating so fast.

Beside him was his twin sister Mabel, snoring softly and leaning on his side, oblivious to the clomps of the horses hooves or clacking of the carriage's wheels.

Dipper looked outside the window with tired eyes, trying to blink away the sleep. The sun seemed to be close from breaking the horizon, as light seemed to be seeping across the hillside, but it still had a good while before it was actually up. He settled back into a more comfortable position, watching the blues and purples of the night sky slowly change to a dazzling array of light blues, pinks, and oranges. Closing his eyes and for the twentieth time that night, Dipper wished that things were not as they were.

Dipper squirmed in his overcoat and pants, finding no comfort in the stuffy suit. Of course, it was all he really had, minus the miniscule amount of money and- God, what WAS that?

The man twisted around, small grimace on his face as he attempted to fish something out of his large black coat. He finally pulled out a good sized red and gold book, sighing in relief in sudden comfort. Dipper stared down, placing his hand on the large golden handprint, frowning as he counted one more finger than normal. The number 'three' was painted in the middle. If he wasn't so tired, maybe Dipper would have questioned its strange appearance a bit more. He was about to fall back asleep when he jolted again, almost dropped the book which had previously been resting on his lap. He hadn't even opened it yet!

Hope fluttered in his heart like a trapped bird, or maybe a wild pack of butterflies. What if it held ancient airlooms? Or maybe expensive recipes? Gosh, what if it was worth something grand?

Eager, Dipper's eyes sparkled as he practically ripped the book open, reading the first page with desperate eyes, and his hope deflated like a popped balloon.

"What is this, a kids book?" He said with a frown, flipping through the pages, which labeled tons of different supernatural creatures, mainly of the sea. At age eleven or twelve, he would have loved it. He used to believe in the sorts of things displayed in the journal, even gone and looked for them in the forests. But at age seventeen? Especially when he was currently homeless?

Dipper tossed the book aside and flopped back into the seat, gracefully banging his head against the back board and waking his sister up at the same time.

"Dipper?" Mabel mumbled, rubbing one of her eyes and sitting up slowly while Dipper rubbed his head, cursing. "Are we there yet?"

Momentarily distracted, Dipper looked out the window again. The country side had taken a turn for more of a town, and houses and other people on horses could be seen all over the area.

Dipper stood up and brushed his suit off a bit and knocked on the wall ahead of them, where the coachman urged the horses. "Excuse me!" Dipper rose his voice so the man could hear him. "How long until Boston?"

"You're here," the muffled voice said back gruffly, and Dipper looked out the window again to watch the cobblestone road twist and turn into the town of Boston, Massachusetts. He pressed his face against the glass, trying to get a look at the city, perhaps even the harbor. Despite living in close proximity to the town, the twins rarely strayed too far from their home, venturing out to the village whenever Mabel needed more art supplies or when Dipper needed more books and charts for his research.

Mabel joined Dipper at the window, frowning at the landscape before them. "It's a lot different from Brookline," Mabel sniffed, turning away and back into the cart.

Dipper watched the window boringly, pulling out the weird journal with the number three on it and reading through a few more passages, pondering just exactly what it was doing in their safe with the rest of their important belongings. Before he knew it, the door was being pulled open and Dipper almost fell out of the carriage, as he had been leaning up against the door.

"Hurry along, I haven't got all day," the carriage driver snapped when Mabel stumbled out of the carriage a second too late. Dipper stared up at the huge mansion of a house before him, mouth falling open a little at the sight. He was about to walk towards it when the coachman coughed rudely. Dipper turned guiltily towards the man and pulled at his empty pockets. He pulled a few shillings out of his pocket and handed them to the man, knowing it was less than he needed to pay. For a split second, the man's face contorted in anger, but then seemed to soften as he squinted at the kids, covered in ash and soot and smelling of smoke.

"You're lucky I know what it's like to lose everything. Now scram!" The man hopped back onto the carriage and whipped the reins on the horses, who quickly sped away into the morning light.

Dipper stared after him, weight starting to fall down on his shoulders, refusing to turn around and look at the unbelievably giant house behind them. It wasn't until Mabel pulled on his arm did he turn. He looked into her worried brown eyes, and took a moment to assess the situation. She wasn't much better off than he was; she was on a date when it happened, and she was in her most expensive pink and purple dress that had long turned ratty and ripped. Her hair looked dirty as well, and Dipper pushed back a bit of her hair that had fallen in her eyes. "We'll be fine," Dipper said, trying to convince even himself. "Mom and Dad sent us here for a reason, right?"

Mabel nodded solemnly. It was downright concerning to Dipper to see her so quiet and dejected. They shared a small silence until Mabel looked up from her shoes, her mouth twitching. "Do you hear yelling?"

They paused, Dipper's eyes widening as they ran to the house. Dipper didn't hesitate to rip open the door, which was shockingly unlocked, and fell through the doorway.

Dipper quickly scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain in his knees, Mabel clambering over him. Dipper barely had time to process the beautiful array of expensive furniture and surprisingly dustiness of the house. They erupted into the next room where all the noise was coming from, panting from effort. "Mr. Pines?" Mabel asked as she caught her breath, timidly stepping forward.

A grown, old man was rustling around the kitchen in an almost drunken mess. Dipper saw a flash of something brown and gray. The man had been chasing a mouse. "Out! Out ya vermin!"

Mabel flinched, but Dipper cleared his voice. "Uhh.. Stanford Pines? My name is Dipper Pines, and this is Mabel-" Dipper cut off as the man swung around, holding a frying pan and swinging it wildly in front of him. "I'M NOT FALLING TO THE GALLOWS TODAY YOU BLOODY- oh."

The man paused, staring at Dipper and Mabel with surprised eyes, quickly hiding the frying pan behind his back. "Mice! Crawling all over the place. Heh." As quick as his mood had changed, it swerved again as he scowled. "What are you doing in this house?" He asked menacingly.

Dipper gulped, knees almost buckling at the large man peering down at him under angry eyes. Despite his old appearance, he looked fit enough to take on a shark. "A-Are you Stanford Pines?"

The man's eyebrows rocketed to the sky, a look of surprise and anger etched across his face. He turned around slowly and rests de against the back of the kitchen counter. "Depends on who's asking." Relieved at not being towered over, Dipper straightened up and presented his hand like his parents had always taught him to. "My name is Dipper Pines, and this my sister Mabel. Our parents left a paper in their safe that says if we ever need help, we'd find sanctuary.. Here..." Dipper trailed off as he finally took in the surroundings. The walls were chipping away and everything was covered in dust. Bottles of beer and rum littered the kitchen and he just realized the man- Er, his great uncle, was clad in a pair of undergarments and ONLY undergarments.

Mabel was shielding her eyes as she continued to talk to Stanford, Dipper momentarily speechless. "We need help. We need to stay here, just even for a few days-"

" _No_ ," Stanford responded darkly, turning around and grabbing a half full bottle of alcohol and downing it quickly. "But we're you're grand niece and nephew! Please, just a day-"

"I said no!" Stanford yelled, slamming the beer down on the counter top, making both kids flinch. "Just- go back home. I can't help you." Dipper and Mabel stood in shocked silence. There was their last hope, down the drain. Dipper wondered why their parents would even send them here in the first place. Stanford began limping away, but Mabel bravely grabbed his wrist.

"We don't have a home," Mabel broke the silence timidly. "It burnt down with everything in it."

Stanford turned to open his mouth when Dipper spoke up. "We have nothing. Anything is better than nothing. Please," Dipper begged.

Stanford turned around, eyes troubled as he decided what exactly to do. Taking them with him was the last thing he wanted to do. Dragging family into his business was the worst thing he could do, but they had no where to go. But a small smile filled his face as he imagined the adventures they'd go on. The girl looked like a fighter on her own, standing strong and defiantly, and the boy, while a bit on the skinny side and looked nervous almost all the time, had potential.

"Anything is better than nothing, huh?" Stanford seemed to be pondering things over. Dipper wrung his hands nervously. What he said wasn't always true. In some cases, nothing was a hell of a lot better than other things. But he bit his lip, unable to take back his words. His parents had sent them here for a reason, and surely it was a good one. Right?

A few more seconds passed and Stanford slammed his hand against the table, making both the twins jump. "Ahh, what the hell. Sure. But no take backs! From now on, you're a um... Sea merchant! Yeah. Transporting goods across the seas with your great uncle Stan, with only the clothes on yer back. Let's go!"

Mabel was immediately delighted. She hopped up and gave the (still naked) man a giant hug and squealed. "Oh, THANK YOU! A sea merchant? What's that like?" Stanford started leading Mabel out the door, a giant grin occupying his features, but Dipper was more doubtful. "Wait, hold on. What? Right now? Kind of um, sudden, don't you think?" Dipper tugged on the collar of his neck, anxiety twisting in his guts. One moment the man was going to kick him out of the house, and the next he's trying to take them with him to the seas?

Stanford looked back at his great nephew, making a sound of distaste. "If you're going to be a pi- sea merchant, you're going to need to throw your caution to the wind! It's a new day, boy. What better time to go than now?"

Dipper coughed. "I don't know, maybe an hour from now? Mabel and I haven't had anything to eat and we don't have any money. And unless you're comfortable with leaving the house so... Indecently..."

Stanford's face went blank. And then it broke into another big smile as he laughed throatily. "There have never been truer words spoken! I'll go get my pants." And with that, their great uncle lumbered back into the house and up the stairs, leaving Dipper to share an uncomfortable look with Mabel.

"What?" Mabel scowled, frowning at her brother. Dipper threw his hands up in exasperation. "What do you mean, what? I should be 'what'ing you! I mean, we don't even know this guy. And we're just going to become sea merchants? Just like that?! Isn't there some kind of like, schooling we have to go through or-"

"Calm down Dipper! You're going to tear your hair out." Mabel grabbed her brother's hand, urging him to calm down. "Ever heard of the term, 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth'?"

"Of course I have," Dipper snapped, taking a seat on one of the chairs, causing dust to puff out the cusions and promtly making him sneeze, once again making him regret his actions. "I just- I've never seen the sea," Dipper finally said, surprised at even his own words. He certainly hadn't expected them to come out of his mouth.

Mabel's eyes softed. "Neither have I. But there's nothing to worry about, because anything is better than nothing. Right, Dipper?"

Dipper scrunched up his nose as he let Mabel pull himself to his feet. They began to search the house after some coaxing from Mabel. They found a few stale pieces of bread in the cabinets and quickly consumed those. Dipper found a bucket and filled it from water from a well he spotted outside the house and began to wash up while Mabel pillaged for more supplies.

"Not a single quill or bottle of ink," Mabel sighed, dipping an old rag into the shared bucket and bringing it across her face. Despite her optimism, she shared many of the same concerns as her brother. "Who doesn't have a single spare quill or bottle of ink?"

Dipper was quick to jump on the bandwagon. "And only three slices of bread in their pantry? And what's with the dust? Does anyone even really live here?"

Mabel was about to respond when she made a sound of surprise and bit her lip. Dipper felt faint as he turned to see what her eyes were staring down.

There was Stanford, dressed in a professional trench coat and boots. He donned a thick set of glasses and his face was grim as he stared at the kids, but his hat was the weird part. A weird, cylindrical red cone with a yellow tassle falling off the side, with weird imprints right on the front.

"My home is the sea. I only stop here when I need supplies from the town. I would appreciate if you'd take your concerns to me rather than making your own inferences. Now are we ready to leave?" Stanford guestered to the door, and the twins hurried along almost guiltily. But before they could leave, the old man blocked the door with his large arm. "Look-y here." The twins both looked up with identical wide eyes, and Stanford had to keep from smiling. "I need you both to hear and trust me. I won't ever do anything to hurt you intentionally. Even if it doesn't always make sense, I need you both to listen to me and do exactly what I say. Do I make myself clear?"

Both Dipper and Mabel nodded, and Stanford leaned back, removing his arm from the doorframe. "Good. Now how about those supplies? We'll stop by the city and grab what we need for our ship and you two and we'll be on our way!"

Mabel's eyes lit up. "Could we get some paints? And paper? _Please_?" Their great uncle smiled wickedly. "I'll see what I can do."

Mabel skipped out of the house happily, Stanford following, looking just as gleeful. Dipper stood in the doorway of Stanford's Mansion, wondering what has become of life as he knew it.


	2. Not What He Seems

Hello again and welcome to Chapter Two! First off I want to thank **anonymous1201** for leaving the first review and giving me some good writing advice! I don't have very much to say or add other than enjoy this chapter! I must've rewritten it three times trying to get it just right, and it still didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but oh well.

Good readings to you!

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The streets of Boston were crowded and bustling with energy. While Dipper didn't exactly look forward to becoming a 'sea merchant' or whatever, he knew he had to seek refuge somewhere with his sister long enough to try and put their life back together. If that meant a few weeks at the most on the sea, he was grateful.

Dipper looked up at the large buildings around him, a look of wonder settling on his face. He had never been somewhere so busy.

Someone walking the opposite way slammed into Dipper's shoulder and gave the boy a nasty look, and Dipper frowned back, rubbing his shoulder and picking up his pace to catch up with his sister and his Grunkle- 'great and uncle' as Mabel now dubbed him.

"...Why would you want to meet a mermaid? They're evil, vile sea creatures! And um, they don't even exist." Grunkle Stanford coughed into his hand, clearing his throat. Mabel's eyes were downcast, clearly crestfallen.

"But um... Who knows? I've known sailors who have sworn on their lives they've seen 'em- even talked to the nicer ones," Stanford reassured her.

"When I meet one, I'm going to ask for one of her scales as proof!" Mabel shouted, holding a newly bought paintbrush up high in the air like a sword. Dipper stuffed his hands deep into his pockets, eyebrows furrowed as he sunk deep into thought. 'I wonder if the journal has something on mermaids...'

And then Dipper scoffed, mentally smacking himself. Was he really going to take a stupid children's book seriously? Mermaids weren't _real_. Right?

The weight of the mysterious journal weighed in Dipper's pocket. Then again, who would take so much time, effort, and research into things that were _just_ stories?

"Dipshit! You just going to stand there? That's the third time I've said your name!"

Dipper snapped out of his subconscious long enough to make up a quick retort, "Maybe if you'd actually call me by my name I'd listen."

Grunkle Stan stared down at the rebellious seventeen year old murderously before breaking out into a rusty laugh. "I think I'm going to like you, kid. But seriously- is there anything here you need? Clothes, personal items- maybe a hair cut?" Stanford teased, pulling at Dipper's overgrown locks.

Dipper swatted his hand away, taking a moment to go over a mental list in his mind, replying one simple word: "Maps."

Grunkle Stan narrowed his eyes, looking offended. "Jeez, kid. I've sailed long enough to know the waters even with my eyes closed." The old man started walking away, and Dipper jumped after him.

"Star maps," Dipper corrected, newfound hope lighting up in his eyes. "And maybe a uh, telescope?"

Stanford stared at Dipper. "Um, that is, if that's okay," Dipper continued shyly, beginning to stammer as his face heated up.

"Dipper's a star freak," Mabel explained to a confused looking Grunkle Stan. "Night owl. Moon child! That's where he got his nickname! It's literally nailed to his forehead." Mabel mischievously slunk up to her brother, smiling innocently at him before trapping him in a vicious headlock and pulling back his bangs long enough to see Dipper's birthmark.

"Mabel!" Dipper protested, clawing at her arm to try and make her let go, and after she gave him an affectionate noogie, she released her brother. "It's a profession," Dipper scowled, trying to fix his hair back into place.

"Obsession," Mabel coughed into the sleeve of her dress, earning a light punch on her shoulder from her annoyed brother. "Am I right?"

They then looked up at their Grunkle, who momentarily had a strange look on his face before shrugging it off with a laugh. "I know just the place we could find some of those!"

The old man led the two teens deeper into the market, past where they had bought the fancy (yet cheap, because man Grunkle Stan could bargain a good deal) paints for Mabel, and down a rather dark alley. They passed a few suspicious looking characters, and Dipper took Mabel's hand tightly.

"Grunkle Stan-" Mabel began timidly, but was promptly cut off by Grunkle Stan, waving his hands triumphantly.

"Ta-da! Welcome to the place you can buy anything, for anything!"

Dipper gulped. Mabel shivered.

They had walked into what seemed to be a back street market. Judging by the looks, Dipper could infer the place was one of the black markets he'd only read about in books, selling only the finest of contraband.

Not even three steps into the road, someone grabbed Mabel's arm and ripped her from Dipper's grasp.

"Got a pretty one here, don't we?" An old lady cooed, her steel grip on Mabel's arm tightening as the twin fought to get away. "This one's got all her fingernails!"

"Hey! Hands off the merchandise!" Grunkle Stan took Mabel's other arm, and the old lady released Mabel hesitantly at their great uncle's menacing stare. "But of course," she said sweetly, and Stanford gently led Mabel away.

Dipper quickly stood next to Mabel's side again, standing tall and trying his best to shield her from anything else. The further they went, the more Dipper couldn't take it.

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper hissed, eyes darting back and forth as if he expected something to jump out at them, "we need to get out of here! This place is-"

Both the twins shrank back as Stanford ignored Dipper and walked up confidently to greet a shady man, looking bored as he sharpened a long knife, leaning against the brick wall of a large building. He was dressed in rags and was missing two of his fingers. On second glance, Dipper realized the large sack he carried on his shoulder had bundles and bundles of rolled up papers, some of them long enough to poke out the top.

"Eight Fingered Ace! You're looking well since I last saw you!" Grunkle Stan extended his hand, and the other man stared for a few seconds, breaking out into a smirk with many missing teeth with recognition. He gripped Stan's hand tightly, giving it a firm shake.

"Haven't gone by that name in a long while. What brings you to these parts, Captain Stan-"

"Have you met my great niece and nephew?"

Grunkle Stan interrupted quickly, grabbing Dipper's wrist tightly and pushing him forward to the dirty old man. Dipper protested, digging his heels into the cobblestone ground but was helplessly thrusted towards the stinky man. "This one here's VERY interested in your maps. Specifically, the ones with the stars on 'em."

The man's smirk turned into a frown, pulling his bag closer to himself possesively. "You know those aren't for sale, Pines," he hissed, eyes glinting dangerously.

Stanford snorted. "And you owe me." Dipper was frozen in his spot, unable to move away when the man stared down at him, his dirty breath stinking in Dipper's face and making him shrink back.

"I don't care WHAT happened in Saba, you aren't getting these-"

"Relax, Ace!" Grunkle Stan put a hand on Dipper's shoulder and pushed the boy out of the way. His great uncle threw an arm around Ace's shoulders, giving him a wink. "The past is the past."

Dipper and Mabel watched, their eyes growing bigger and bigger, as Stanford's hand slipped stealthily into the backpack on Ace's back, grabbing a handful of maps before punching the guy in the face with brass knuckles he slipped on when his hand had been buried busily into his pockets.

"Dipper! Grab the sack!" Stanford yelled before taking off, and Dipper took one second of letting instincts take over before tearing the bag from Ace's moaning grip and running after his great Uncle, Mabel already ahead of him as they sped through the market, flying back down the alley they came from.

"Not so fast, boy!" Ace yowled behind him, and Dipper concentrated on his quickening footsteps. The teen spotted stacked crates ahead of him and took a moment to topple them over onto Ace, but wasn't fast enough to avoid the angry man grabbing his ankle and effectively tripping him, sending the star maps flying everywhere as he hit the floor.

Dipper desperately struggled to get away, squirming and kicking his legs. Just when he thought he was done for, another shower of fallen crates had him curled up in a ball with his arms protecting his head. "Hurry up!" Mabel's voice urged him, gripping his arms and trying to pull him up.

Dipper blinked, then scrambled to get up, gathering as many of the maps as he could before throwing them in the sack and racing out of the last of the alley, holding Mabel's hand all the while. He broke out into the normal market, his chest heaving, eyes scanning the crowd for Stanford frantically. He was about to move forward when someone grabbed the back of his collar and hauled him roughly into a building- a storage room, on second glance.

Dipper didn't think twice to swing a punch, connecting with something hard enough to hurt his own hand.

"Sheesh, calm down, it's me!" Grunkle Stan spat, rubbing his jaw, but his eyes were lit up in laughter. "Jeez, kid! I didn't know you had it in you!" His Grunkle laughed, and Dipper had the urge to punch him again. "What the hell was that back there?!" Dipper exclaimed, dropping his bundle of maps. "He could've- we just-"

Stanford shrugged. "He owed me."

"We just stole from him!" Dipper's mouth gaped open as the situation finally caught up to him. What had he been thinking?! Okay, so his uncle was crazy. Whatever. But that didn't excuse Dipper's actions!

"We're leaving!" Dipper exclaimed for the third time in one day. "Where'd Mabel go?" Dipper turned, jaw dropping as he saw her carelessly digging through the crates. "Mabel!" He pinched the bridge of his nose as she pulled an apple from one and bit into it. "Do either of you have a problem with stealing? What is wrong with you two?"

Mable groaned, "But I'm hungry, Dip Dop! What's one apple, anyways? Besides, that didn't stop you from taking that Ace guy's bag right off his shoulders." Dipper looked at his sister in dismay, the bag in his hands seeming so much heavier. He dropped it quickly once it became too much, and turned to go outside to get fresh air.

Stanford's hand rested gently on his shoulder, but Dipper shrugged it off angrily as he stared out at the bustling crowd of townspeople.

"If it's any consolation, good ol' eight fingers back there wasn't a nice guy. Most of his maps he'd stolen himself- from innocent people, other pirates, even the damn British Navy themselves."

Dipper processed this, his face twisting in a mixture of different emotions. "He was a pirate," Dipper stated, but his tone made it sound like a question. Stanford hesitated, and Dipper looked up at his great uncle in a bit of curiosity. "Yes," the old man admitted, "but a poor excuse of one. He was low, even for a criminal."

Dipper nodded, tucking this bit of information deep into the logs of his brain, labeling it under 'Things to Ponder at Night' and right next to 'Suspicious Things About Stanford'.

Once they were ready to go, Dipper walked back into the storage room to scoop up the sack, allowing Mable put her paints in with his newly acquired maps. They exited the town and walked down to the bay where the ship ports were at. Dipper scanned the docks, and then further out to where the blueness of the ocean met the blueness of the sky. His eyes latched onto the brilliant boats of all different shapes and sizes- ranging from beautiful Navy ships to mini sail boats. Dipper guessed the ship they'd be on would be good sized- it had to be, if they were trading and importing goods along the coast- and maybe even out to Britain, and even beyond there!

What they didn't expect was a tiny row boat with more than a few leaks, a bucket to shovel the water out, a broken oar, and barely enough room to sit the three of them.

"My ship is just outside this cove. Came in unscheduled so they didn't have a place for me to hitch 'er up," their Grunkle explained. He looked down at the tiny boat with pride in his eyes. "Made her myself."

Dipper raised an eyebrow, while Mabel cracked up, pointing to the side of the boat. "'Stan O' War'? Did you make that up?" Mabel giggled, holding her dress up and hopping into the boat, Stanford clambering in after her. Dipper hesitated in following, but an angry shout behind him sent him flying into the falling-apart row boat.

"Hey! Stop them!"

Dipper grabbed an oar, Mabel grabbed the other broken one, as they furiously paddled away. Ace tore down the dock, almost falling into the water. By then, the Pines twins had successfully paddled a safe distance away. Stanford's choking laughs drowned out Ace's furious screams. They watched as British soldiers finally had had enough of him and aimed their muskets at the crazed man, leading him away from the docks.

Dipper's arms ached by the time they finally left the dip of the cove, rowing around the growing cliffs and green land mass. Stanford occasionally filled the small bucket full of salt water that now soaked Dipper's boats (which were luckily water proof) and dumped it back into the ocean.

Both twins groaned in relief when they caught sight of the stunning ship just around the peninsula of the cliff.

It was huge- it looked just as big as the magnificent Navy ships! It was a oaky dark brown, and Dipper counted the windows where he knew dangerous cannons were perched, imagining them in the heat of a battle.

For the first time in a long while, Dipper smiled, nearing the giant ship. It looked just like it did in the pictures he saw and read about when he was a child- strong, but beautiful, huge and deadly, with black sails and pirate skulls-

Dipper paused his rowing, as he craned his neck to make sure he hadn't just seen what he just saw, but they were too close to the port of the ship to see the sails.

Dipper adjusted the oar in his hands, casting a look at Mabel, who had stopped rowing as well, her face pale in shock, which only confirmed Dipper's dread.

They both turned around to look at their great uncle who was yelling obscurities at the crew above them. Ropes were eventually thrown down, and Stanford quickly tied up the front of the boat with steady knots, turning around to meet the kid's eyes.

"What are you waiting for?" Stanford asked incredulously at Mabel, who was holding the other rope in her hands so tight her knuckles turned white. "Tie it up!"

"Are you crazy?!" Dipper shouted, waving his arms around madly, rocking the pathetic rowboat. Trying to calm down, Dipper lowered his voice to barely a whisper, a sheen of sweat beading his forehead. "That's- That's a pirate ship! They'll kill us! We need to get out of here, leave right away-"

Stanford fixed his gaze down at Dipper, regarding him for a few seconds. He then pulled out a pistol from his coat pocket, locking it on Dipper and clicking it into place, ready to fire. "I said tie it up."

Dead silence ensued, and Dipper's ears started ringing from the realization.

Mabel stared at their uncle in disbelief and fear, but Dipper just stared back at Stanford until something seemed to make sense in his head. The teen glared back at his great uncle- if he even WAS their great uncle- and let go of the oar, bringing his hands up slowly.

"Captain Pines! We've spotted British Navy Ships, and by the looks of it they've seen us too!" A large fat man shouted over the railing, somewhat frantically, breaking the air of crackling tension.

Stanford waved his gun around when Mabel still refrained from tying the other end of the rowboat. "Do I look like I've got all day? Tie the damn knot!" And with shaky hands, Mabel snapped into action, doing her best to secure a safe knot. Once Stanford was satisfied with it, he grunted, raising his hand for the signal, and the three were lifted out of the water and helped into the ship.

Once they were on board, Stanford's pistol which was carefully trained on his head was finally lowered. Dipper let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

Cussing under his breath, the old man ordered a series of commands and the crew, which had been staring at the new additions in wonder, whipped into action.

"Raise the anchors! Lower the sails, and head east! I need someone posted on the watch for more bloody Brits- _No_ , God, not _you_ Soos!" Stanford stopped the fat man that Dipper recognized briefly from earlier from scurrying off. Stanford finally looked over at the twins, who cowered next to each other and seemed to be sizing up the situation. "Show them the ropes. I have other business to attend."

The man saluted, hitting himself in the head with his own hand. "Of course, Captain Stanley!"

And that's when Dipper's mouth dropped in shock. "Stan _ley_? Just who _are_ you?" Dipper asked weakly, holding onto Mabel to keep himself steady.

Stanford- Or, Stanley, stared at them grimly. "Look, kids-"

A small sob stopped Stanley from saying much more. "Grunkle Stan- How are we even supposed to know if you're really our Grunkle?" Mabel sniffed, eyes wet with tears. "For all we know, you're just a lunatic pirate!"

Stanley stiffened, his whole body tensing. Some of the near by crew members flinched away and when the pirate captain met their eyes, they fled to get back to work. He walked up to the twins, regret in his eyes when Dipper pulled Mabel away from the man, standing in front of her protectively while Stanley broke character, taking a knee to reach their level.

He lowered his voice so only the twins could hear him. "I understand that you're mad at me. You have every reason to be. I lied to you, yes- but not completely. I _am_ your great uncle, and I need you to remember what I told you. I will never hurt you, and although not everything will always make sense, I need you two to trust me. You're stuck here now, like it or not. Anything is better than nothing though, right?" Stanley looked at the kids with a humorless smile, descending into the bowels of the ship and leaving the twins alone to face their newest situation alone.


End file.
